Dear Santa,
Really don’t know why I bothered, really don’t, but I’m still pushed to write to you again. It wont feel right if I didn’t thank you, thank you for leaving up to my expectations of you, thank you for confirming my opinion, thank you for nothing, for crushing my expectations, for making me finally realize that you are a fat white potbellied racist. I really thought I stood a good chance of being on you list of people to visit. Even gave out my neighbourhoods secret to hunt out Rudolf, but being the back stabbing prick you are, you skipped my place. But hey, I don’t hold it against you. I really don’t, but so you know you’ve gone down in my book as a fraud and scam artist.
You actually thought you could wreck my Christmas by not showing up, didn’t you? well I’m sorry but my Christmas was still fun with out you stupid presents, I may not have gotten any gift from you, but I still got some from people who believe in me and know I’m worth something. Didn’t get the blackberry, zune, camera, PS3 or even the date, but I still got my new wardrobe and accessories, you hear that…….i got presents from my own personal Santa and they sure ain't white, fat, hairy and over weight. So with all inborn energy I say, YOU LOSE!
In the end I got to realise that Christmas doesn’t circle round you, matter of fact you are what you are because we give you that yard stick, but not anymore for me. For me my Christmas is about being with those that give a rats ass about me, that also believe that the best we can be is when we are together under one roof exchanging laughs, smiles and good times. This I guess would be my new message, and my aim for 2011, …..to put you out of business. Good luck to you trying slide down chimneys, you just might be landing in a snare or be charged for breaking in and entry. See how you’ll survive behind bars, you’ll be turned into someone’s white b***H. As for you reindeers, my target practise just increased. Next season we’ll be having roast deer for supper. You’ll go from HOHOHO to NONONONO.LOL
I’ll definitely have the last laugh and trust me it won’t sound like HOHOHOHOHOHO
Yours Truly
Your biggest fan
Everyone has a way of releasing their 5 minutes madness........welcome to mine
Monday, August 22, 2011
WHO AM I
WHO AM I?
When asked, “In one word describe yourself”, one never finds the one perfect word to describe self, not even two. Self description is like a bottomless pit.
Who am I?
A lucid question with infinite definition, judging from the fact that every human is everything including complex, that’s why till today we still study self to figure out why we are and who we are. How then would you be able to describe self when self itself is totally confusing?
Who am I?
Is “I” a creation of self or an accumulation of various factors? Definitely not a creation of self, for self in its true nature is dependent, dependent on others, how then can self be SELF when self never really is SELF but a reflection of probable self. If an accumulation then “I” can’t be defined by self but by the factors that determine “I”. No matter how “I” thinks, “I” is shaped and modeled not by self but life, substance, environment, peers, religion, friends, politics, institutions, states, countries and many more. So how then can I know who I am when I evolve with every given factor. If change is the only constant then “I” is a variable, if “I” can’t be an island, then “I” is a cosmopolitan city, “I” in its true nature is complex, irrational, unstable, unpredictable and above all confused. For what “I” is today wouldn’t be the same the next day. “I” hates rock today, tomorrow “I” is rocking Avril Lavigne, “I” prefers tall, slim dark and cute/handsome next day “I” is with average, fair, plus size and cute. “I” doesn’t like fish, next night “I” is in line at point-and-kill with cute/handsome, average and plus size. Movies are boring; over the weekend “I” is at the cinema. What is the big deal about the BB? Next month “I” has a numb finger from pinging. And it goes on.” I”, an insatiable evolving being with no defined face, moulded by its past, only sure of the present and elusive of the future. How then can I base my definition when the outcome of my tomorrow is unknown?
Who am I?
I am not what I am but what you make me to be, not by the totality of my choice but by the chances and circumstances that come my way, by the integration of different and other “I”s. I am only what I am by choice, choices made from what is given, which I have no control over, Thank God for choice. My true definition comes only with the present and similar circumstances, after which a pattern could be deduced but doesn’t mean irrational changes can’t be made when different variables create same situation. Example: “ I”, doesn’t cheat, but what happens when “I” is in a tight spot and passing means cheating? Would I still be “I”, or would I evolve to be a different “I”? Its clear and obvious that the characterizing factor determining “I” are the choice “I” makes, be it good or bad, wrong or right, slow or fast, positive or negative.
Who am I?
I could be one that makes the right choices, I could be one that makes wrong choices, or I could be the one that mixes both right and wrong choices to create a distinct “I”. Choices that make “I” feel in control and responsible, but in reality “I” is never in control, if it was, words like fate and destiny would be alien to the dictionary, but words like satisfaction, regret, fulfillment that gives “I” hope of control and responsibility. If “I”, a one word could be so complicated, what happens when “I” progresses to ME, WE, YOU, THEM, OTHERS and eventually EVERYBODY. I guess we could only find out if WE understand “I”, then WE can move on to YOU, OTHERS and eventually EVERYBODY…..God help WE.
In one word “WHO AM I?” COMPLEX
When asked, “In one word describe yourself”, one never finds the one perfect word to describe self, not even two. Self description is like a bottomless pit.
Who am I?
A lucid question with infinite definition, judging from the fact that every human is everything including complex, that’s why till today we still study self to figure out why we are and who we are. How then would you be able to describe self when self itself is totally confusing?
Who am I?
Is “I” a creation of self or an accumulation of various factors? Definitely not a creation of self, for self in its true nature is dependent, dependent on others, how then can self be SELF when self never really is SELF but a reflection of probable self. If an accumulation then “I” can’t be defined by self but by the factors that determine “I”. No matter how “I” thinks, “I” is shaped and modeled not by self but life, substance, environment, peers, religion, friends, politics, institutions, states, countries and many more. So how then can I know who I am when I evolve with every given factor. If change is the only constant then “I” is a variable, if “I” can’t be an island, then “I” is a cosmopolitan city, “I” in its true nature is complex, irrational, unstable, unpredictable and above all confused. For what “I” is today wouldn’t be the same the next day. “I” hates rock today, tomorrow “I” is rocking Avril Lavigne, “I” prefers tall, slim dark and cute/handsome next day “I” is with average, fair, plus size and cute. “I” doesn’t like fish, next night “I” is in line at point-and-kill with cute/handsome, average and plus size. Movies are boring; over the weekend “I” is at the cinema. What is the big deal about the BB? Next month “I” has a numb finger from pinging. And it goes on.” I”, an insatiable evolving being with no defined face, moulded by its past, only sure of the present and elusive of the future. How then can I base my definition when the outcome of my tomorrow is unknown?
Who am I?
I am not what I am but what you make me to be, not by the totality of my choice but by the chances and circumstances that come my way, by the integration of different and other “I”s. I am only what I am by choice, choices made from what is given, which I have no control over, Thank God for choice. My true definition comes only with the present and similar circumstances, after which a pattern could be deduced but doesn’t mean irrational changes can’t be made when different variables create same situation. Example: “ I”, doesn’t cheat, but what happens when “I” is in a tight spot and passing means cheating? Would I still be “I”, or would I evolve to be a different “I”? Its clear and obvious that the characterizing factor determining “I” are the choice “I” makes, be it good or bad, wrong or right, slow or fast, positive or negative.
Who am I?
I could be one that makes the right choices, I could be one that makes wrong choices, or I could be the one that mixes both right and wrong choices to create a distinct “I”. Choices that make “I” feel in control and responsible, but in reality “I” is never in control, if it was, words like fate and destiny would be alien to the dictionary, but words like satisfaction, regret, fulfillment that gives “I” hope of control and responsibility. If “I”, a one word could be so complicated, what happens when “I” progresses to ME, WE, YOU, THEM, OTHERS and eventually EVERYBODY. I guess we could only find out if WE understand “I”, then WE can move on to YOU, OTHERS and eventually EVERYBODY…..God help WE.
In one word “WHO AM I?” COMPLEX
My Birthday
Its almost 4.00pm as I pull close to my house, I know this because the beautiful voice on radio just announced that immediately after One Republic’s Secrets the 4 O’clock news would be read. I really wasn’t feeling happy, to think about it, really couldn’t remember why I was feeling grumpy, one thing I do remember was the date, the date was 14th January, my birthday. So far all I know is the time, date and how I felt, not a good way and time to be feeling the way I felt.
I get to my gate, hoot me horn and wait for my sister to open, two minutes passed before I remembered my sister was off at school. Damn! With my foul mood I descend and let my self in, dogs wagging its tail awaiting the usual ruffle greeting, but my mood’s a killer the poor things’ senses pick it up, its tail shrivel between it hind legs. Mum’s cars parked, why didn’t she come help me with the gate? Didn’t really care, I let myself in, walked into my room, stripped to my boxers, got me a bottle of water and walked into the sitting room………………….SURPRISE!!!!!!! I almost wet my pants, actually I did, I spilled the bottle of water on me and down to my pants.
What I saw was beyond my wildest imagination, my mum, brother, sisters, couple of friends and even my dream girlfriend all in front of me surprising me with a birthday party. Like a quick flash back in movies, I had a quick flood of emotions, from grumpy, to shock, rush of embarrassment and finally an elation of joy, happiness and love. They threw me a birthday party and I was surrounded by people close to me. There was food drinks. Music and then there was cake. My mum came in with a candle lit cake that lit up the whole room and was singing the all famous happy birthday song. For some reason everyone’s lips where moving but I could only hear my mum’s voice, then in the middle of the song she asked “are you still sleeping?” Odd! Why would she ask that when I was standing right in front of her. Her next move shocked me; she freed her right hand and tapped me on the shoulder saying “wake up, birthday boy wake up”. I soon realized why everything was too good to be true, I was asleep, I finally woke up. The birthday song was real, my mum was singing it, the candle light also was real, but it sat on a candle stand not on a cake. It was 6.30am, 14th January and PHCN was holding power.
The time is 6.35am and the date is 14th January. Today is my birthday, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today. What was, was all just a dream, its 6.35am I’m psychic because today’s the one day my phone would actually ring more than twice. Text messages would pour in, my facebook page would be a side attraction. I might be home alone with my mum but nothing stops my dream from coming true. I have breakfast and head out; unconsciously I’m dressed the same way I was in my dream, cant call that coincidence, more like me walking in the direction of my dream becoming a reality. Like expected my facebook page’s bleeding out wishes, my phones constantly ringing, some friends are kept on call waiting, I even got a message from my pastors. Time check now is 3.30pm and still I’m all smiles. Seen a couple of friends, had a couple of drinks, still don’t see why my mood would turn grumpy. 3.45pm I stop to buy a bottle of wine, I select a bottle head for the counter to pay; that would be N700 the cute cashier said. That’s when it turned south, I couldn’t find my wallet. Damn it! I think I left it at the bar. There goes my ATM, drivers’ license, cash. I called my guys but none of them had seen it. Feeling all grumpy and mad I drive home. Then I hear a familiar voice on the radio saying something about the news at 4.00pm. That’s when it hit me, I’ve been waiting for my sister to come open the gate but she wasn’t home, she was back in school. It hit me immediately that this was me leaving my déjà vu. My dream was coming true. Grumpy mood – check! Voice on the radio – check! Waiting at the gate – check! Alright man. Try not to jinx this, stay grumpy, but I couldn’t. I drove into the compound, mum’s car packed - double check! Dog wagging tail waiting for usual greeting – triple check. I couldn’t believe my streak of faith. With all composure I let myself into the house didn’t bother changing, headed straight for the sitting room, calculating how surprised I should be, I entered and BAM! I was greeted by an empty house, No surprise, no brother, sisters, mum friends or even my dream girlfriend. Just like in the dream, I had a quick flood of emotions, but different, my excitement turned to shock, then disappointment and finally sadness. Dreams, that’s what it was all, mare dreams. So I picked my sulking self, went to my room and slept.
The time is 6.30pm and I hear my mum singing the birthday anthem, I see a candle light coming close to my bed………not again, not another dream? Wake up son, come make a wish. I open my eyes only to see the candles sitting on a cake, my mum alone, with a wine in hand. This was no dream; my mum got me a cake and gave me my wallet. Told me a friend dropped it off while I was sleeping, apparently I left it in his room when I dropped him off and picked up his MI2 CD. My lips with quick reflex carve out a big clown smile, this wasn’t my dream exactly, but it just had to do. I did get my surprise and my cake, with a card addressed from my brother, sisters and friends….no dream girlfriends.
We sat down at the candle lit dining table sipping wine and nibbling on cake and Tobleron, with MI2 playing “nobody” at the background. I’m all smiles, it couldn’t have ended any better, or so I thought.
My phone rings,
Unknown number;
“Happy birthday dear” the voice said;
HORSE S**T!!!!
It was my dream girlfriend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
I get to my gate, hoot me horn and wait for my sister to open, two minutes passed before I remembered my sister was off at school. Damn! With my foul mood I descend and let my self in, dogs wagging its tail awaiting the usual ruffle greeting, but my mood’s a killer the poor things’ senses pick it up, its tail shrivel between it hind legs. Mum’s cars parked, why didn’t she come help me with the gate? Didn’t really care, I let myself in, walked into my room, stripped to my boxers, got me a bottle of water and walked into the sitting room………………….SURPRISE!!!!!!! I almost wet my pants, actually I did, I spilled the bottle of water on me and down to my pants.
What I saw was beyond my wildest imagination, my mum, brother, sisters, couple of friends and even my dream girlfriend all in front of me surprising me with a birthday party. Like a quick flash back in movies, I had a quick flood of emotions, from grumpy, to shock, rush of embarrassment and finally an elation of joy, happiness and love. They threw me a birthday party and I was surrounded by people close to me. There was food drinks. Music and then there was cake. My mum came in with a candle lit cake that lit up the whole room and was singing the all famous happy birthday song. For some reason everyone’s lips where moving but I could only hear my mum’s voice, then in the middle of the song she asked “are you still sleeping?” Odd! Why would she ask that when I was standing right in front of her. Her next move shocked me; she freed her right hand and tapped me on the shoulder saying “wake up, birthday boy wake up”. I soon realized why everything was too good to be true, I was asleep, I finally woke up. The birthday song was real, my mum was singing it, the candle light also was real, but it sat on a candle stand not on a cake. It was 6.30am, 14th January and PHCN was holding power.
The time is 6.35am and the date is 14th January. Today is my birthday, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today. What was, was all just a dream, its 6.35am I’m psychic because today’s the one day my phone would actually ring more than twice. Text messages would pour in, my facebook page would be a side attraction. I might be home alone with my mum but nothing stops my dream from coming true. I have breakfast and head out; unconsciously I’m dressed the same way I was in my dream, cant call that coincidence, more like me walking in the direction of my dream becoming a reality. Like expected my facebook page’s bleeding out wishes, my phones constantly ringing, some friends are kept on call waiting, I even got a message from my pastors. Time check now is 3.30pm and still I’m all smiles. Seen a couple of friends, had a couple of drinks, still don’t see why my mood would turn grumpy. 3.45pm I stop to buy a bottle of wine, I select a bottle head for the counter to pay; that would be N700 the cute cashier said. That’s when it turned south, I couldn’t find my wallet. Damn it! I think I left it at the bar. There goes my ATM, drivers’ license, cash. I called my guys but none of them had seen it. Feeling all grumpy and mad I drive home. Then I hear a familiar voice on the radio saying something about the news at 4.00pm. That’s when it hit me, I’ve been waiting for my sister to come open the gate but she wasn’t home, she was back in school. It hit me immediately that this was me leaving my déjà vu. My dream was coming true. Grumpy mood – check! Voice on the radio – check! Waiting at the gate – check! Alright man. Try not to jinx this, stay grumpy, but I couldn’t. I drove into the compound, mum’s car packed - double check! Dog wagging tail waiting for usual greeting – triple check. I couldn’t believe my streak of faith. With all composure I let myself into the house didn’t bother changing, headed straight for the sitting room, calculating how surprised I should be, I entered and BAM! I was greeted by an empty house, No surprise, no brother, sisters, mum friends or even my dream girlfriend. Just like in the dream, I had a quick flood of emotions, but different, my excitement turned to shock, then disappointment and finally sadness. Dreams, that’s what it was all, mare dreams. So I picked my sulking self, went to my room and slept.
The time is 6.30pm and I hear my mum singing the birthday anthem, I see a candle light coming close to my bed………not again, not another dream? Wake up son, come make a wish. I open my eyes only to see the candles sitting on a cake, my mum alone, with a wine in hand. This was no dream; my mum got me a cake and gave me my wallet. Told me a friend dropped it off while I was sleeping, apparently I left it in his room when I dropped him off and picked up his MI2 CD. My lips with quick reflex carve out a big clown smile, this wasn’t my dream exactly, but it just had to do. I did get my surprise and my cake, with a card addressed from my brother, sisters and friends….no dream girlfriends.
We sat down at the candle lit dining table sipping wine and nibbling on cake and Tobleron, with MI2 playing “nobody” at the background. I’m all smiles, it couldn’t have ended any better, or so I thought.
My phone rings,
Unknown number;
“Happy birthday dear” the voice said;
HORSE S**T!!!!
It was my dream girlfriend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
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